What to do?

ok, so i am in a tough spot. 

some of you might remember that at the beginning of the school year i voiced some concern about Cullans Teacher. At the advice of a couple different people I decided to give it sometime and see how the first quarter played out. I thought, I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Well now the first quarter is almost over and I am even more unhappy. I just don't know what to do. Having worked in schools, I know people say that children do not get singled out, but that is just not true. I have heard teachers talk if a child has a parent that complains or causes problems for the teacher. I know how it works. However, Cullan's teacher is just bugging me. There are two first grade classes in his school. The other first grade class gets a weekly letter to the parents saying what they are working on. They have a class website. The kids come home with reading, math and spelling homework. Our class has had zero parent teacher communication. Our kids don't ever come home with reading or math homework. In fact it was almost a month into school before we even got a spelling list. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. There is no communication, even when emailed. It takes her usually up to a week to respond. I just don't want Cullan to suffer, educationally, because of a teacher that does not have her stuff together and does not seem to really enjoy children all that much. 

My head.

I really need to come up with a term for these moments I keep having. I either have them from lack of sleep, sickness, or just flat out "gone craziness"!

Anyways, on to my story. 

All day today, I have been battling allergies. 

My head feels like it wants to explode.

I had agreed to take dinner to a good friend of mine who just had a baby last week. 

As I was driving in their neighborhood, I saw something in the sky. 

At first glance I was sure it was a parachute.

 As I got closer, it looked as if it were spiraling out of control. 

I began to panic... All I could think was about this poor person, stuck in these crazy winds, out of control.  

As I began to reach for my phone to call 911, I look closer to try and identify if the person was tangled or why they were so out of control, only to realize that it was a kite.

Good Grief.

I am going to bed early tonight. 

fickle folks

the other day, garran and i met and had lunch with three of our four kids. 

During our lunch, the kids were all very well behaved. We were even receiving smiles from other tables and one lady even leaned over to me and said, "you have adorable children!". I thanked her and was feeling pretty good about how the day was going. After lunch we got up and walked around the store for a minute because I needed to pick a few things up before I headed home. 

Somehow between finishing our lunch and picking up our items and heading to the register, we went from three happy, well behaved kids....

to this.

Now granted. Only one was throwing a fit. But it was a good one. I was laughing to myself at the irony of the situation. Not even 15 minutes before, the people in the restaurant side of the store were about to hand us PARENT OF THE YEAR awards and Cutest Baby Ever! 

Now we are getting the very opposite. 

The dirty and disgusted looks of, "can't you get your kid under control?" or "what kind of parent are you?". so this has led me to a new conclusion.

I might add, that I had a good laugh all the way to my van once I came to this realization....

You are only one tantrum away from falling from Grace as a Successful Parent!!

where am i??

let me just start by saying that yesterday was a very long day for me.

it was beyond stressful. i can't even begin to say. 

anyways. after a long day, i had to run some errands and meet some friends. 

while i was out, Garran asked me to stop and pick up some dinner for him since I was not going to be home. He had had a rough day and so I told him that I would get him some rice and beans. 

one of his favorites.

so i stop at office max and then i walked down to this little mexican restaurant.

I walk up to the counter and asked if I can place an order to go. 

The lady says sure. 

I tell her that I wanted an order of rice and beans. 

she looked at me kind of funny.

like i said it had been a long day, so i might have had just a little bit of attitude at this point.

i said again, "rice and beans!!"

she asked me what kind of rice. 

i thought to myself, what kind of rice?! the only kind you guys make! spanish rice or whatever the reddish rice is that every mexican restaurant in the world makes.

she then hands me the menu and asks me to select off of the menu. 

so i look at it. i guess reading through my frustration and i see...

chicken rice

beef rice

shrimp rice

I thought to myself....what kind of mexican place is this?!?! 

i was really getting frusterated. 

so I said.."i guess chicken rice!"

and then she asked me what else. 

so i repeat rather annoyed,

"beans!"

she looked at me like I was crazy. 

so i finally say...

"beans, you know like the mushed up beans that you serve?!?!"

she again looks puzzled!

as i am starting to see red, i realize it is because I am in a Chinese restaurant that has a bunch of red lanterns hanging from the ceiling. 

I look at the asian hostess with a blank stare.   

I realized that I looked at the menu on the door as I walked in.
I even thought...hmm that is odd that a mexican place has a buffet!

I just turned around and walked out. 

I think this might just be proof positive that I have officially lost my mind!

being a mom.

*warning: this is coming from a sleep deprived mother of four, sick kids. *

ok. here is something i have been thinking about for a long time and i don't know why, but today is the day that i am going to say something. 

being a mom is HARD! 

there are rarely easy days. every day is different. every day poses new challenges. you never know how things are going to go when you wake up in the morning. each of your children are their own little people. just like us, they have emotions, feelings, and sometimes they wake up on the wrong side of the bed just like us!

they have a right to have those feelings. to have bad days and good.

so why is that if a mother complains, we are looked down upon. 

i am not talking about those women who complain constantly and do not ever seem grateful for their children/family. 

i am talking about all the good moms out there who work day in and day out to do the best that they can for their little ones.

i honestly do believe that being a mom is one of the toughest jobs on the face of the earth! you start to worry and care and do everything you possibly can for that little one from the time you hear that you are pregnant until the day that you die.

there is no coffee break in my day. there is no vacation days. if i am sick, i don't get to call in and take a sick day. i have to take care of my littles while running a fever, throwing up or whatever else i have been blessed with in the symptom category.

(ps. i am not knocking working women or working moms)

now here comes the part that really gets me.

i don't know if this has been everyones experience, but it has been mine. 

anytime i remotely say that i am having a bad day, or that my life can be hard sometimes, that it's not always sunshine and roses, i am met with this....

"well, your the one that had all those kids!".

 REALLY??

so because I love children and wanted a family... in my case, more than one or two...i am not allowed to have a bad day. I am not allowed to say, "man, today was rough!". 

I was actually told once when commenting on how tired i was "well, whose fault is that?". 

again...mind blowing.

from now on, maybe when "these" same people make make comments about their hard day at work, i will say, "well, you are the one that choose to work there!". Maybe when their boss has come down on them for not doing something right, i should say "well, whose fault is that?".

but we all know the truth. i would never do that. i would never say that to someone. 

i just get really tired of the double standard. 

being a mom is hard work. it is one of the most selfless jobs ever. i just don't think that women who try very hard day in and day out to be good moms should be made to feel bad when they just need to release and say, "wow, this is hard work". 

saying that does not make me regret my decision to have children. i love each and everyone of my little kiddos. i would not change a thing about my life. 

i guess in the end, it would be nice to just hear..."ya, that is hard work, hang in there."

ok. im done ranting... i do have little ones to go take care of! 

well its about time.

that i post another walmart breakdown story.

i say that i am going to stop shopping there, but honestly it is so convient, I can't seem to help my self. 

anyways. here is my story. 

i have had this issue before at walmart, but have failed to blog about it. this time though...well this time pushed me over the edge. 

i was standing in line to check out. i had pulled my cart around towards the spinner thing with all the bags and before i could turn back around to watch the lady check my stuff through the register, wham! a cart right in my side. i mean really. could you give me some space. on top of having their cart digging into my flesh, one of the ladies started passing back and forth, almost hovering.

i kept looking behind me as if to say, "can i help you with something?!?!"

oh walmart people. 

i tell you. i think normally in a different setting they are probably pretty normal, but once you go through those automatic doors and passed the greeter, they become different people all together.

toothpaste!

so i hate when toothpaste gets all over everything in the bathroom. 

it is sort of a pet peeve of mine.

i saw this idea on pinterest and i thought, why not!

so i went to Wally World and picked up this bottle thing for $1.50.

Then I wrote tooth paste on it and Garran did the art work.

 here is to hoping that putting the tooth paste in here, and having the kids squirt a little on their tooth brush will help with finding toothpaste on the toilet seat lid or on the counter, or walls!!

either way, I am only out a $1.50.

here's to hoping it works!

frazzled.

I am always posting cartoon images of a frazzled woman. 

well here is the sad truth. 

this is me, right after waking up from sleeping on the couch with a sick child all night.

I decided to post this picture because as I was sitting on the couch i saw my reflection at just how "AWESOME" I looked, only to look over and see briea playing on the steps with her rapunzel doll and dragging her nose across the stairs to clean it off. 

one word came to mind. 

FRAZZLED!

REALLY?!?!?!?!

here is the background to my story:

I have not been happy with our bank for a while. I hate their on line set up for banking and I have been shopping for a new bank for a while. So I had heard really good things about this other bank in town and decided to give it a try. here is what happened.

I went in to set up a checking and savings account. When I walk in a VERY bubbly brunette approaches me and is overly excited about talking to me. I can appreciate good customer service and think to myself, "Well at least they are happy about having our business.". So i sit down to start giving this, what I can only guess is an early 20 something girl my information. She is very chatty with me and with whom ever she was texting as well. I guess she thought that I might want in on the exciting conversation she was having with her cousin Erica, because she started to fill me in. As she sipped on her frappa-mocca-decaf-lattee, she told me about her cousins break up and how she was not wanting to go to class. Somehow in our extensive conversation she brings up that her cousin attends the university and is an art major. I don't know why i prolonged my pain but I stated that my husband was a grad student in the art department. So then we spent ten minutes texting her cousin, who apparently knew everyone in the art building, to see if she knew my husband. (I don't know if I mentioned that I did not care one bit if Erica knew Garran) moving on. 

So finally we are back on track with the account info when she brings up past banking. she asked where all we have lived and I proceed to tell her that we lived in iowa for 10 years before moving to illinois. At the news of this, she became almost giddy. "oh my gosh...are you serious?? i have always wanted to marry a boy with an accent. don't those boys from iowa have accents?". AT this point I could only sit there with a blank stare. I mean I guess Iowa people have an accent. I do remember when I moved to Iowa from North Carolina, everyone sounded funny to me. But really, I mean Iowa to Illinois just did not seem that different. So I said, well I guess it depends on where you are from. To which she responds, "Ya, you know right!". Did I mention she said RIGHT after just about everything. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but by the end of my hour there, I was so ready to be done. 

Since then I have done all my banking online.

once again....

(this mocking face and statement above is exactly how I feel )

once again, here is another reason i should not shop at walmart.

as do most of my recent experiences i was shopping and pushing my cart. 

i was moving quickly due to the fact that i was by myself and did not have much to get. 

i was rounding the corner by the tank where people fill up their water jugs. 

there was a Hispanic family filling theres and other shoppers scattered around. 

as i round the corner, i am suddenly enjoying a new vantage point. that is right, the ceiling.

i all of a sudden find myself flat on my back and in what some might say was a good amount of pain. 

i lay there for a minute, almost in shock. when all of a sudden a women's face is hovering above mine.

she looks at me curiously and says "honey, did you fall?".

I thought to myself for a minute and thought, nope I thought i would just lay here and enjoy this puddle of water!

i was a little frustrated at how many on lookers there were and the lack of help that i received to get up. so i just crawled over to the chip rack and used it for support to get up. my leg was banged up, and so it hurt like crazy when i put pressure on it.  when i finally got to my feet, i felt as thought i should turn around and take my traditional bow, as i usually do after my walmart adventures. but, i didn't. i just pushed the cart off, mumbling under my breath about how much my leg hurt. i am sure the people closest to me probably thought i had hit my head and really lost it. the good news at the end of this story is that i did not forget to get milk. the one thing i went there for. Yippee!

sick

once again. sick. 

when i get sick, man i really get sick.

for some reason, once i get sick, i just can't stop. 

i got to the er around 8:00pm and did not leave until 2:00am. 

turns out that i had Gastroenteritis, and it kicked my rear end. 

luckily i was not admitted. but it did change our plans a little. 

i am feeling much better after getting re-hydrated and some medicine to calm my stomach. 

as we speak I'm sipping on my Gatorade and slowly munching on some toast. 

i have decided to just take things slowly. i am hoping that will help.

Tonight is the night!!!!

Tonight is a night that I look forward to all year. 

We have a tradition of going out to look at Christmas lights and picking the house that we feel is the best. Then we leave them a little treat in their mail box!

Not only is it fun to leave a surprise for a stranger, I think it is good to encourage people to be festive for the holidays. People seem so bah-humbug as the years go on. I always hear people say, "ah, what is the point", or "it is just to much work". Well it might be a lot of work, but for Christmas junkies like me, I really appreciate their effort. So this is a fun way to let them know!!

I will post pictures later of the winner!!

I can hardly wait for it to get dark outside!!!!

I'm Blue

today i had got the girls ready to go pick up Kael from preschool. 

I told them I had to use the restroom and that I would be done in just a second and that we would go.

In the few minutes it took me to use the restroom this is what I found, as well as a blue wall. 

 Lizzy was so proud of the face that her sister had painted her blue that she was squealing with delight!

Briea was just as happy. 

After I took this top picture, I said to Briea, "What am I going to do with you?". She replied..."give me a bath!"

ARGG!

Here they are after multiple shampoos and they still have blue highlights. 

Briea's shirt says it all!

What am I going to do with these two?

love.

i love garran for so many different reasons.

here is one.

after a long week with the kids, briea's allergy craziness and two hours in the car driving back and forth to pediatricians offices, he comes home one day and does this.

i need to run to the store, which i was so tired and dreading, that i asked him to make a list. 

i was begrudgingly putting my shoes on, when he handed me this.

i took him up on it!

he is amazing.

he does so much for our family and works so hard.

yet, he still does things like this for me!

he's great!

Kindergarten...

How did we get here?

 He was just my baby the other day. That is how it feels anyways. I swear that I was just bringing him home from the hospital and being paranoid about anyone holding him, watching him, touching him. Now he is not with me for most of the day! Sigh. Time just keeps on ticking I guess. 

(I know he looks in pain in the picture above. It was really cold this morning, but he insisted on wearing shorts.)

 normally i would just drop Cullan off at school, but today I walked up with him. They have two lines for the kindergarten classes. Here is Cullan in his line with all his supplies.

 He was so excited. He did not stop talking the whole time we were in line. Right after I took this picture they told us it was time to go in to the class. 

 Here is his locker that he shares with two other children. 

And here he is with his class and teacher doing opening exercises. They finished and then the excused the parents. I was fine up until that point. The tears started rolling when Mrs. B said, ok turn around and  wave good bye to your parents.

I decided I could not handle staying for the boo hoo breakfast since I was already boo hooing. So I just left. Plus Garran had class. 

So most of you that know us, know that we rarely have a big event or an event in general without some humorous story to go with it. 

So here is how our morning went. 

We get up, get everyone dressed. Double check to make sure that we have everything on the list in the backpack. Garran does school/father blessings and we have a quick dance party before we leave. 

Cullan and I went to the school together. I could tell he was so excited. If I was unsure about that I would have figured it out. At the first stop light I hear this from the back of the van. "Mom, can't this van go any faster, I am not getting any younger back here.". I simply reply that I have to follow the traffic rules...to which I get a sigh.

Then we go and do the line up outside, the walk into the classroom, and the sad goodbye.

Then around 11:00ish I am talking to a friend that also has a son that started kindergarten but that is in the other class. She says to me, "Where was Cullan today? Is he OK?". I say "What do you mean?". She then proceeds to tell me that while she was at the boo hoo breakfast, one of the aides came in asking if Cullan was in there. Of course I am instantly thinking, what WHAT!! they don't know where my kid is???

So I call Garran and explain the conversation to him, because he is the more level headed one when it comes to things like this. To my surprise he told me to call the school immediately and make sure they knew where Cullan was. 

So I call the school and explain the situation. The receptionist that I spoke to sounded concerned, which did not instill confidence and then she left me on hold FOREVER!

Finally a completely different women picked up and was very pleasant. She said there had been a misunderstanding. Apparently about 10 minutes after I left, Cullan got a real gusher of a nose bleed. They went to the boo hoo breakfast looking for me not him.

I guess he got blood all over his shorts and they wanted me to bring him a change of clothes. However, then they checked his backpack and saw that I had packed the emergency clothes they had asked for so they did not call.

Mystery Solved. Heart Attack Averted.

I picked Cullan up after school and he was ecstatic. His teacher said that he did amazing. Even with the bloody nose. She said he had a great day.

He told me that he made a friend, only one, but that I should not feel bad for him because he was happy with just one friend for right now. 

He is such a funny kid. 

This was only a half day.

We will see how the first whole day goes tomorrow!

the bomb squad.

 when most of my mornings look like this. i end up with multiple children in my bed, big round circles around my eyes. trying to get out of bed can be tricky. sometimes i think to myself that it as almost as if i am on a bomb squad. any little movement could set one of my little "sleeping angels" off. i especially thought this this morning. Garran was leaving for work. he came to give me a kiss goodbye and so i started to get up. I looked down and realized that i had two children in my bed. i instantly started my game plan as to how i could move the blankets and the leg that one of them was laying on to escape and yet still leave them sleeping. (don't get me wrong. i love my kiddos more than anything. i just like to be up for a little bit before the day goes into full swing!)

so this is how i felt. "start the mission". i delicately move the blankets, slide my leg out. I think i am doing awesome. i grab my phone and start to head down stairs. i am feeling so happy that i was able to maneuver my way out without detonation. then with the first creek of the step as i head down stairs i see a head pop up from my daughters bedroom. "Hi Mommy!".  BOOM! 

what was i thinking. i did not take in to consideration the trip wires that are the creaking stairs. 

oh well. the day begins. Briea and I went down stairs and watched Dora for a while. i guess the sweet hugs i got will make up for the quiet time i did not get. ;0)

hmmm. what is that taste?

( this is a gross post. don't keep reading if you don't feel up to it)

let me start off by saying that since i have been couponing, we have a wide variety of different brands of the same products. we have started going with what we can get the best deal on. so for example, we have a ton of different deodorants, but hey they all do the job, so no one complains.

well last night i went into the bathroom and got my toothbrush out of the cabinet. everything seemed normal with it. it definitely looked the same as it did when i put it away that morning. so i put some toothpaste on and start to brush. i am not exactly sure when i began to notice. i would say maybe somewhere in the three to five area of brushes that I noticed the toothpaste had an unusual flavor to it. I took my toothbrush out and looked at it and thought, what in the world is wrong with this. then out of the corner of my eye i see it. garrans deodorant sitting on the ledge of the back of the toilet. LID OFF! i pick it up for closer inspection and see that there are these lovely little fine grove marks going across the top. that's right. my daughter had picked my lucky toothbrush to be the winner to rub all over daddy's old spice deodorant!!! i have to admit i gagged a little when putting it all together. it was one of those slow motion moments where i could see it in my head happening and then a light bulb went off and i realized that i had just put that in my mouth.. SIGH.

so i instantly throw that toothbrush away and go and get a new one from the closet. i scrub my mouth for probably about 5 minutes. you would not think that old spice deodorant would have such a lingering taste. however i can tell you from experience that it does.

after brushing, my mouth still tasted like i had had an old spice popsicle for dessert so i decided to try some mouth wash. let me just say that Listerine and old spice mixed together could seriously be used as some form of torture for bad guys!

i went and got a bottle of water to flush it out of my mouth and because well old spice does its job and my mouth felt like cotton.

i finally decided to give up and go to bed. before i did i went to check on the kids in their rooms. the boys were fine and then on to briea. as i looked at that sweet little girl laying there, i thought, it is a good thing you are cute. especially right now. as i bent down to give her a kiss, i was overpowered by the smell of old spice again (you can go ahead and insert another gag from me at this point). apparently briea had rubbed it all over her arms.

i think it is time to lock the upstairs bathroom again.

head held high!

most of the time this is kind of how i feel when i go grocery shopping. just replace the dog with three other kids. i often feel a little overwhelmed and like things are just hanging on by a thread. most of the time i have forgotten what in the world i was there for.

i almost always leave the store with some sort of thought like, "man, i will not be winning mom of the year award any time soon" because of something my kids have said or done.

today was different.

today i went by myself.

that is not even the best part.

i went to the store, got all my items and was headed to the register. as i was making my way up front, i heard some crying. by the time i got to the register, it was more like screaming. i happened to glance to the self check out registers behind me to see what looked to be a 7 or 8 year old boy throwing what i could only say was a MAJOR tantrum.

(now before i go any further, i want to say i felt for this mom, but i have got to take what I can get)

lets proceed.

as i was checking out, it was just getting worse.

as i finished checking out and was walking out, i just happened to witness the major event!

as i was glancing over thinking to myself that poor mom, i see her son take the lid of his just purchased orange soda and chuck it high in the air and over about 3 registers. yep. the kid had an arm. he might even have a career in football if he made it to the car. i could see the horrified looks on peoples faces as the soda bottle spun, spewing soda wildly above their heads.

i did not stay to see what happened next. i just proudly walked out of walmart, with my head held high!

yep, at that moment i thought, mom of the year right here!

my life.

this is my life. I find these everywhere. b will not leave her diaper on. yes she is starting to potty train a little, but this is so annoying. I hate finding these and then having to hunt down a hiding giggling little girl. although it is funny to watch her squeal with delight when i find her!

Can it be true?

Today I went to the mail box and do you know what was in there?

A letter for Cullan..... For kindergarten round up!

I can not believe it is already here. My baby boy is off to kindergarten in the fall.