a day at the beach...

I had been waiting for this day for sometime. 

Have i mentioned this...

I LOVE THE BEACH!!!!

 I love everything about it. 

I was so excited for the kids to get to experience it. 

 We had a great time playing with cousins in the ocean. We ate lunch and applied lots of sunblock....

 See how happy I look....

 and sun kissed....

 Even Garran was happy!!

 The kids....exhausted!!

The next day......AWFUL. 

Word to the wise. Do not use spray sun screen at the beach. Get the lotion guppy stuff. 

Oh my did we pay. I had to call into work 2 days in a row because it was so bad. I could barely move. 

I could not believe how little our sunscreen did....especially since we applied it multiple times. 

oh well. next time we will know.... and yes...their will DEFINITELY be a next time!!

Not so "PET SMART"

So when we lived in Illinoios, we got to guinea pigs.

We bought them from PETSMART.

We got them both from the boy bin. 

The one on the left is Carmel and the one on the right is Snickers. 

 Well one day, I was at work. Cullan walked by the cage and yelled "Dad!!! AWESOME!! You got us 3 new guinea pigs!!!". Garran of course said no. But to his surprise, there were 3 new piggies in the cage. So PETSMART....not so smart. 

Apparently Snickers... Is a girl. (and a mom)

These are the three new piggies. 

They are very sweet and soft. 

The kids love them. 

However...they all have new homes. As well as the lovely parent couple. 

I think we are done with Guinea Pigs for a while. 

This Girl is on FIRE!

Well my legs and arms are. My friend Becca has been asking me to go do a spin class with her at the y. It's not a real class, it's just some of us friends and Becca leads it, but it could easily be a class, it just not official in their catalog. Anyways, I had been avoiding it because of doubt in myself and my abilities. I often have an inner struggle with myself about what I am capable of. But I finally gave in and went. To my surprise I made it through the whole class and I actually enjoyed it! So below is a picture of me after class and then a picture of my new motto for myself!

trials

toothpaste!

so i hate when toothpaste gets all over everything in the bathroom. 

it is sort of a pet peeve of mine.

i saw this idea on pinterest and i thought, why not!

so i went to Wally World and picked up this bottle thing for $1.50.

Then I wrote tooth paste on it and Garran did the art work.

 here is to hoping that putting the tooth paste in here, and having the kids squirt a little on their tooth brush will help with finding toothpaste on the toilet seat lid or on the counter, or walls!!

either way, I am only out a $1.50.

here's to hoping it works!

B Bug is 3!!

Well today our Briea Bug turned 3!!

We celebrated her birthday on Saturday so that we could do some fun stuff and have time to enjoy each others company instead of having to rush.

 Her is Miss B in her Birthday out fit. Princess skirt, ribbon, magic wand and crown!

 they ladies at Hy-Vee put B's cake in this pretty princess box. Briea was over the moon!

we decided to have a birthday lunch due to schedule stuff.

so we did lunch and then opened presents. 

 Kael gave Briea a necklace and a bunny. 

she liked it. 

 Cullan gave her a necklace and a brush with a mirror. 

 she really liked it. this was not even a prompted kiss. I just happened to snap it just in time. I thought it was so sweet. 

then she opened a gift from my parents. she got a lady bug lunch box with princess jewels and a purse inside!

 I wish I could of captured how excited she was. She was so excited about everything.

 She also got a Dora Pillow. 

(Ayla got a hold of it after Briea opened it, and has yet to really release it from her grip. Briea has been pretty patient for the most part)

 Then onto our gift. 

We got her dress up close from pinkalicious and a book to go with it.

 here she is in all her princess gear. 

 then it was time for cake!! Briea's eyes were silver dollar size when she saw this cake. 

 Briea's cake.

 Ayla, all partied out. She crashed after the cake. 

we had a really good time, just spending the day together. i think briea had fun at her party. 

we are so thankful to have briea as part of our family. She is a super sweet and amazing little girl. 

Happy Birthday to our sweet girl! We love you bunches!!

motivation

I have been working with Cullan on these sight word flash cards all week. 

He had been doing ok. He would average between 50 to 60% accuracy with about 40 cards. 

I could tell that he would get board and would just kind of guess. He would say words that did not even sound similar to the word we were working with. 

So tonight, I thought I would switch it up. 

 I bought a bag of M&M's and put one on each card as I laid them out on the table. 

Guess what I figured out...

Cullan just needed a little motivation...

and I found it.

With M&M's on the cards his accuracy went up to about 95% accuracy. 

Go figure. 

He knew the words and even the few that he was not sure about he was pretty close. 

That kid can be such a stinker. 

Well we not be doing M&M's every night, but maybe I will break them out when I need to see just how much he actually knows. 

For Every Mom, But Especially those with Littles

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."

At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?

That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"

My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.

But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's what does work for me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is sobeautiful. Kairos.

Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.

Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.

These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me.

By Glennon Melton

2012

turning 30 in 2010 was no big deal for me. neither was turning 31. i could almost feel a change coming. this year, i only have two goals. 

1. Do more good stuff.

2. Follow through on my plans. (mainly the ones i have for myself)

I am not yet ready to reveal any of my big ideas, but I will as they become more cemented. I have a good feeling about this year and I am hoping it turns out to be as exciting as I have a feeling it will be!!

well....

if nothing else, my kids will grow up with a sense of humor!!

cullan has decided that he loves to cut his own hair. once again, we will have to lock up the clippers and the beard trimmer. Cullan shaved a straight line down the middle of his head. So garran fixed it like this. he thought it would be a good punishment. unfortunately for us, Cullan LOVES IT. so much so that kael thought it was pretty cool and wanted to do it too. i have decided that i will never leave the men folk in this family alone in the bathroom again!!

my new hobby.

couponing.

yes i do watch extreme couponing. no i am not striving to be an extreme couponer, however i am loving the savings I am getting from couponing. I am also loving some of the tips i have learned from watching the show. So this may seem silly but I wanted to blog about all of the good deals I have found so far.

I got all those dish soaps up to for no more than .75 cents a piece. some of them differed in price. I got all of those laundry detergents for a dollar or less. Those make me happy! When you stack coupons, you can get really good deals.

This is our upstairs closet. I have enough tooth brushes, toothpaste, deodorant, body wash, etc for at least six months. And I just started about a month ago with coupons. I have learn to stack coupons which can really help your savings. Pretty much all of the toothbrushes were free as well as most of the deodorant. If I paid anything for it, it was minimal.

I am hoping that by doing this I will be able to save our family some money and take the stress of some of the harder times by having things on hand that we might need. Plus it is kind of fun to go to a store, buying items, get to the register, only to watch the total drop, drop, drop!!

for those of you that might be interested this website has some awesome tips.

Krazy Coupon Lady

fingers.

she loves those fingers. 

she is my only kiddo that has ever wanted to suck on those fingers.

i know that everyone says that i should push the binki because those are easier to break than getting your kids to stop sucking on their fingers, but I just can not help it. 

i mean look at how cute she is. I will try and stop it later, but for now she is just to dang cute.

things are changing.

sometimes when I look at Cullan, I still see this. He was about 2 years old here. (i think) now rationally i know that he is 5 and that he has changed a lot since then. however, one of the things that i was not really thinking would ever happen is that Cullan wants his space. Luckily not necessarily from Garran and I, but from his brother and sister. He has been saying things lately like, "Can I help you with that, only me and not Kael or Briea". He also always wants to go with us when one of us goes to the store, but he wants it to be just us. Now, at first I was thinking, does he not feel like we pay enough attention to him, but I don't think that is it. (I could be wrong I guess) I just think that right now he is craving attention and the ability to do things on his own. He and his siblings are together 24/7. Most kids his age are in kindergarten already, but due to a late birthday  he is not. I think he is starting to want to stretch his legs a little and do things that separate him from the pack a little. The thing that brings me comfort is that he still wants to play and be around his siblings and he is still very kind to them. I guess this is just another part of growing up. Sometimes, I just wish they would just slow down. Some days I miss the little boy in the picture, but on the other hand growing up has its perks and fun things also. 

i hate snow.

for this reason!

Garran and the boys got into an accident. Garran was trying to go and when he finally got traction he could not stop and slid into a pole.

ARRRGG. i hate snow, but am so happy that they are ok. count my blessings right?

warm fuzzies

so it's late and this might sound like i am rambling. so forgive me if it comes across that way. 

lately i have really been thinking about what I want to teach my kids and what I want to be important to them. After talking to a friend of mine and hearing an idea that she had got from conference i decided to do the same thing at our house. The original idea came from President Monson's talk. 

(click here to read it!)

The talk was entitled, "What have I done for some one today?"

I love that idea. I really enjoy doing service for other people and I really want my kids to enjoy it as well.     There is such happiness in knowing that you have done something to make some one else's day a little brighter, easier, or just to let them know you are thinking of them. It does not always have to be a huge act of kindness for it to be important. So this is my plan. We are know going to have this on top of our entertainment center. 

I bought the jar, bought the little pom pom things and this will be our goal. Every time some one in our house does some form of service for anyone else (without being prompted), we will put a fuzzy in the jar. This applies to everyone, even Garran and myself. However the kids can not add fuzzies, only the parents. Once our jar is full, we will do something really special as a family. What that is has yet to be decided. But it will be something big. Bigger than just having a special dessert or ordering pizza. We will do something really fun and special as a family to show our children how much we appreciate their kindness towards others. I decided to do a post about this to kind of  hold myself responsible as well. I want to try and work on being nicer this year also. ;0) Periodically i will post how we are doing as a family and then hopefully, what we have done as our big surprise. I have an idea, but we will just have to see if we can fill our jar in time!!! Wish us luck!

near miss

this was us, this year, March 2010.

we were in Tennessee, looking at Grad schools and having a great time. This was our last stop on our trip and so we were enjoying our stay and checking out the scenery.

I had just found out I was expecting Ayla right before we left for the trip so I was in that wonderful phase of being super tired and nausea.

It was a long drive home when we finally left Tennessee and by the time we got home, we were all exhausted. It was freezing in Iowa and so we were missing the comfortable weather that we had had in Tennessee. We did not even unpack our suitcases when we got home. We set them by the door, relaxed for a little while, put the kids to bed and then went to bed ourselves.

Around 1:00 am we heard a beeping noise. We had heard this before. It was an alarm that we had that often went through the battery to quickly and would beep until we replaced it. Seeing as we were both exhausted, Garran and I laid there discussing whether or not to get up and make sure it was the battery or wait till morning to change it. We both were so tired, that we figured we would just sleep through the annoying beep. After a few minutes of discussing it, Garran said that he was going to get up to check the alarm just to make sure it was the battery. He came back a minute later and told me that it said that we had carbon monoxide in our apartment. We both were not exactly sure what to do next, but Garran said that he was going to call 911 and try and talk to someone at the fire department.

A few minutes later the fire department arrived. We could hear this weird beeping noise as they were coming in the building and getting closer to our door. Finally we heard a knock and opened it. (I should mention that as soon as we got up and saw the alarm we turned the furnace off. It was 5-10 minutes after that, that the fire department showed up). They said that the beeping noise that we heard as they were entering was a detector they used for Carbon Monoxide. It was clear out in our hallway. All of a sudden I felt panicked. If they could detect it out in the hallway, how much was in our apartment?

when they did the initial readings, after the furnace had been off for 10-15 minutes, the fireman said that the levels at that moment were borderline of us needing to go to the hospital. my heart sank. i instantly thought of the boys. they had a bunk bed. that night they had both wanted to sleep on top, not 2 feet from their little heads was a vent just pumping out this gas. i had already checked on them when I first got up, but i went and checked again while the firemen were running more test. at this point they asked us to turn the furnace back on. when we did, their detector went nuts instantly. i could not believe it. there was no sign of any gas. no smell, no cloud or fog, nothing! their reading said that the level was well over 100 ppm. The paper they gave us had this description next to the column that said...

"over 100 ppm" - "We have detected a lethal level of CO in the building. Leave the building immediately! It is not safe to return until the source is found, repairs are made, and the building ventilated. Have all possible sources of CO examined and repaired if necessary by a qualified technician. Replace or reset your CO detector according to manufacturer's specification."

the fireman then told garran and i that we were very lucky to have had that carbon monoxide detector. it was one that we had purchased on our own. our actual apartment did not have one. he said that had we not got up to check the alarm or had we slept through it, the levels in our apartment would have been lethal within 1-2 hours. My heart sank again. Not only could I not imagine losing one of my children, but I felt sick at the thought off all of us passing away. I have to admit that both Garran and I got emotional. The fireman said that we should get the boys out first, due to their proximity to the vent. We quickly wrapped them up in coats and blankets and put them in the van. B was next. They told us that we could not stay there that night. Especially me being pregnant. So even though we were absolutely exhausted, we called Garran's parents, let them know we were on our way, and made the 30 minute drive to their house to stay the night.

The reason this came back into my mind and I decided to post is because now that it is getting colder outside we have our furnace on. Every time it kicks on, I have to admit that that night pops in my mind. Now I am super cautious. We have a Carbon monoxide detector upstairs and down. I will NEVER take that chance again. Things could have ended up so differently that night. I am thankful every day for my friend that encouraged me to buy that detector and that I was diligent about replacing those dumb batteries, even though it seemed so annoying.

Garran and I were both talking the other night about this and we both agreed that when we had told people about our experience, that a lot of people brushed it off like it was not that serious or that it was not big deal. it was!! carbon monoxide is nothing to play with. if you do not have a detector you should get one. it will be well worth the 25-30 dollars you will spend on it.

i am grateful that we were all ok. that we got up when we did and that everyone walked away without any serious injury.

karate

tonight it was my turn to take the boys to their karate class. garran and I switch off so that we can each get some time with the boys and so we can each watch their progress. i decided to take my little camera so that I could get some video of the boys doing there karate. they really enjoy it. they are the youngest in the class, or i guess i should say in the youngest age group. the class spans from age 4-7. i am hoping they will want to do it again in the future. there are things i really like about them taking this class. 

for one, the man that teaches is a police officer, so he asks that the children say "yes sir" when they respond to him. i like that. growing up in the south, i have not problem with my children saying yes sir and yes ma'am. it does not go over so well in the Midwest, so we don't really push it, but i still like it. 

the other thing that i really like is that he teaches the kids things that have to do with karate but that would also help them if a stranger ever tried to take them. the second video is a good example. they are teaching the kids to put their hands in the "crane" position and to hit the dummy in the eyes and yell "NO NO NO" and then run to the back of the line or to run away! the other thing they did tonight was held the kids wrist and showed them how to hit the persons hand in away that would really hurt and to yell "get away from me!". my boys were told they did not hit hard enough, but i think they were a little confused. we have taught them to not hit, especially an adult. so when their instructor said hit me (or his hands) the boys kept looking over at me like ..... "uh, what do i do ?" finally cullan gave into temptation and really whacked the guys hand. i gave him a thumbs up so that he would know that he was not in trouble. i think he felt better after that ;0)

what is the point

some days, this is how i feel. 

i don't know if any of you other mothers out there feel this way, but i feel like i clean and try and keep things tidy only to do something like go to the bathroom and come out to toys everywhere and popcorn on the floor. (you get the idea)

so some days, like today, i feel frustrated. i just think what is the point. however on days like this, inevitably someone knocks on my door and they get to see the disaster that is my living room.

today i was looking at a blog online and found this saying or poem. the lady had done it in vinyl letters and it was by her front door. it was adorable. i am thinking of doing something with it, i just have not decided what. i am however going to post it here, so i won't forget it. plus it makes me feel better!

~Excuse this Home~

Some homes try to hide the fact 

that children shelter there.

Ours boast of it quite openly, 

the signs are everywhere.

For smears are on the windows, 

little smudges on the door.

I should apologize I guess, 

for the toys strewn on the floor.

But, I sat down with my children, 

we played and laughed and read.

And if my home doesn't shine, 

then their eyes will instead.

For when at times I am forced to choose, 

the one job or the other,
I want to be a homemaker, 

But first I'll be a Mother.

See so if you are like me, don't you feel better after reading that. I don't think it means I don't want a clean house. It just means that sometimes there are more important things in life. Toys and fingerprints can just wait!

lil critter hour

the other day i was looking at the local library website and saw that they were having a program called lil critter hour. i thought it would be fun to take the kids too. So we called and registered and got everything organized!

the couple giving the presentation did a great job. the lucky boys got to sit right up front. because b was in a stroller, we had to wait out in the hall, but luckily there were big glass panels, so i still got pics!

here are the snakes. can you see cullan in the bottom left corner? he was very excited. so was kael for that matter, i just could not get him in the picture.

this is a tarantula. that is about all i have to say about that. even behind glass i could care less about seeing it. i am not a big spider person. the boys loved it. so that is all that mattered.

i spy with my little eye....lots and lots of kids! can you spot mine? they are there, you just have to look close.

these were pretty cool lizards that would just lay on the chests of the owners. it looked like they were giving them hugs. that is what kael said anyways.

kael thought this bird was HILARIOUS!! it would bob its head and speak. it would squawk really loudly. kael was practically rolling on the floor he thought it was so funny. that is him with the red and blue strip shirt on. right up front of course...when there are animals involved there is really no other place he would rather be.

kael was in heaven during the petting portion. here he is in his green boots, petting a snake. (the whole way home he was listing off reasons why we needed a snake as a pet) it did not work.

they also had turtles. another favorite. i did not get him petting them, but you get the idea.

i missed cullan petting things because he was further back in line. he thought the whole thing was pretty cool as well. here he is petting the snake at the end of the line.

B pretty much hung out in the stroller the whole time. it was nap time when we went so she was not to interested in any of what was going on.

practice...practice

i can not remember exactly where i read this, but i read somewhere that having kids trace letters or numbers with these dot painters really helped with their handwriting skills. i decided we would give it a whirl. cullan can spell his name but some of the letters are backwards and the u is kind of funky. kael still pretty much just scribbles. so here was our fun for the day.they did a bunch and really had fun. cullan keeps asking that we do the dot art again. i have to limit it a little because they go through so much paper. ;0)i was impressed with how well kael did with his name and that cullan did not try and turn any letters around. here is some of their work. it was a fun little activity for the day.