BABY FEVER!

My friend Trisha just had the cutest little boy. 

Her husband had to travel and so I went over to give her some extra hands to hold that sweet little fella. 

We were talking about how babies smile in their sleep and how it was so sweet to catch it. 

I then said that I wanted to take a picture of him sleeping because he is just so stinking cute. 

Low and behold look what this little stinker did. 

He had to big smiles just as i got my phone out!

B.

Sometimes I take pictures or see pictures that just melt my heart. 

Oh my heart. I love this girl!

Briea

Oh Briea has such a personality. She is so funny and sweet. She can be grumpy and loving.

This little picture just cracks me up. It is so her!

amazed.

it always amazes me how my children can literally fall asleep anywhere!

i guess laundry baskets with fresh warm clothes is pretty comfortable.

the plan.

i know the quality of this photo is not to hot. it is off my phone. 

however here is the back story. 

sometimes the kids treat ayla like a baby doll or just a baby in general. 

i guess that does not bother her considering she is the baby of the family. 

so they also like to put her in her "crib". Usually this ends up being a laundry basket. 

so as they were playing in the living room, they tucked her in and I hear Kael and Briea say, "Hang on Ayla! We are going to pull you up the stairs and let you go!"

That is where i decided to step in!!

When I showed Garran this picture, he said, "Well it was nice having Ayla around for a little while!!"

food.

well i had my first class with the official pre op dietician. 

i have to be honest when i say that i walked out feeling more than overwhelmed. 

there are so many things that you have to do.

take x-amount of vitamins for the rest of your life. 

you have to shove protein and water and all other sorts of nutrients in your tiny pouch each day. 

i worry about being able to squeeze everything in while running two kids to school and maybe one to preschool. 

I know I will and have to do it. It just seems overwhelming right now. 

Important

that is what i have been telling myself a lot lately. 

I AM MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FOOD.

i never realized until they put me on this new diet how much i depend/think/want food. 

I think about it a lot and want ti a lot. 

however. i am trying and doing pretty well. 

whenever i have a craving, that is what i say in my head. 

I AM MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FOOD.

my life, my kids, my husband are more important than the food. 

so far I have lost three pounds. 

it is not much, but it is a start!!!

update

well here we go.

i have been put on the fast track for surgery. 

i was approved by both the food psychologist and the dietician. 

they both said that I was making excellent progress and I was doing a good job of changing my lifestyle.

i have already lost 15 pounds. 

you can not really tell from this picture, but i will take every pound that comes off. 

I plan on taking pictures every month to track my progress. 

so here it is in all its glory!

ps. the look on my face is because i am sick.. both with allergies and with the way that i look!!

and so it begins!

Well in a sense it begins. In a sense it has always been. My weight. It has been an issue my whole life. There has not been a time in my life that I can remember feeling skinny or even average. I have always known that I was not the same as my friends. I was always bigger. Shopping was never fun. No matter what I did, some weight might come off, but never what I wanted. Never enough. 

I was active all throughout my childhood. I spent all day in the pool, on my bike, etc. And I was still the heaviest or at least sometimes reminded that I was the heaviest. 

Well I knew that when I hit 30 I was done having biological children. I felt like my thirties were going to be a new chapter in my life. I was not sure what that would be, but I really just felt like my thirties were going to bring change. And so I am hoping it will. 

A few months ago our friend Ed Palmer had bariatric surgery. His weight loss was amazing. I could not believe it. It was truly incredibly. I have to admit i was a little jealous. In my head I thought, "What I wouldn't give to have that". To have that weigh loss. To have that healthy-ness. I mean almost over night so many different health issues just disappear because the weight starts to come off so rapidly. I am not wearing rose colored glasses. I see that it is a hard road. That it is the hardest diet that I will ever be on. That I will have to work hard and exercise, but for once I feel like I will be playing on a level playing field. Instead of thinks being stacked against me. 

I started looking into the surgery when we came home after Christmas and talking with ed. I looked into what was available around me and what my insurance would cover. I was excited to find out that my insurance would cover the surgery. That was so exciting. However it did not cover everything. That was not so exciting. 

However Garran and I went into the city and went to listen to the surgeon speak about the surgery and what to expect. Garran was not for me having the surgery before and I think he still has his reservations. I know that he is worried for me. Surgery is surgery and things can always go wrong. But after seeing all the benefits and how excited I was at the end of it, that he came around. He still has his worries but he is ok with going ahead with it. 

 So now I amwaiting. I have my first appointment with my dietitian in a few weeks. I am really hoping it goes well and I can get on the fast track for having this surgery. I don't want to rush through the steps, but I feel like I have waited my whole life to be thin. And even if I never get super skinny, I just want to be healthy and smaller than I am now. I hate being FAT!!!  I really really hate it. And the older I have got, and with each baby I have had, the weight has just been harder and harder to take off and seems to linger longer and longer. Not to mention my thyroid stays out of whack so much longer and just stays crazy. I am ready to feel and look healthy. I am ready to have more energy and do more things with my children. I want my life to be a better quality than what I am at right now. 

I have decided to document my journey with this and hope for the best outcome. It starts now. 

My head.

I really need to come up with a term for these moments I keep having. I either have them from lack of sleep, sickness, or just flat out "gone craziness"!

Anyways, on to my story. 

All day today, I have been battling allergies. 

My head feels like it wants to explode.

I had agreed to take dinner to a good friend of mine who just had a baby last week. 

As I was driving in their neighborhood, I saw something in the sky. 

At first glance I was sure it was a parachute.

 As I got closer, it looked as if it were spiraling out of control. 

I began to panic... All I could think was about this poor person, stuck in these crazy winds, out of control.  

As I began to reach for my phone to call 911, I look closer to try and identify if the person was tangled or why they were so out of control, only to realize that it was a kite.

Good Grief.

I am going to bed early tonight. 

Little Sluggers!

 the boys after baseball practice!

then they got their uniforms and really wanted to try them on. 

so here are my little Iron Birds!!

Woo HOO!! 

Go Iron Birds!!

Are you ready for some T-Ball?!?!

the boys had t-ball practice tonight. i snagged some video of the boys hitting.

they are getting better and better with each practice.

biker babe

she is not quite ready to ride a bike, but she is adorable in the helmet

Cullan's Mothers Day

I meant to post this, but have been a slacker.

Cullan made me this awesome card and sang me a song for Mother's Day.

I posted the song and forgot to post the card. 

So here it is.

Not all of his facts are accurate, but it is still adorable.

splits.

Briea loves her dance class, but she is still fine tuning her skills!!

practice!

the boys had t-ball practice this saturday and also a scrimmage. I tried to get video of both the boys, but Ayla was not cooperating. I ended up having to sit in the van with her. So here is Kael. Enjoy!!

randoms from my phone

now that i have a phone that i love. 

i take lots of pictures on it.

i have gotten lazy about getting them on the blog, but have vowed to get better.

here are a few that i have wanted to share.

 Popsicle cuteness!

 apparently briea had decided that bumble bee and barbie were going to get married. she said they were going to be very happy together.

 look at those curls.. i mean really...how could you not love them?!?!?!

out with lots of love. they were all snuggled up and completely asleep!

32

Happy 32nd Birthday Garran!

I love you more than words.

I count my blessings each day that you are part of my life. 

I hope you have an amazing birthday!!

a first.

tonight we went to the boys first t-ball practice. it was interesting. the boys both hit really well. they hit off the T and they also hit some pitches. their coach is kind of soft spoken. i think it will be interesting to see how that plays out. the boys loved every minute. Even the part when they were in the field drawing their letters in the sand. I had to tell them to pay attention a couple of times...so hopefully that will improve. I wish that I could have posted some pictures, but i left my camera and phone at home. Next time I will remember. They were so cute out there playing ball. Cullan even gave me a hug tonight and thanked me for taking him to t-ball. He said he really liked it a lot!! I am excited to see how the first game goes. They only have two weeks of practice until their first game. 

Mothers Day Song

Cullan came home from school on Friday with a Mother's Day Card and a song for me to sing. 

It was awesome!!

I am so thankful for video cameras and that I will get to look back and remember this!

More Mother's Day Post to come!!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day!

well hello.....

i had to go into the city today for a little while. I got there a little early and since it was such a nice day, I decided to just walk around and enjoy all the busy fuss that is Chicago!

While walking down this street, the man sitting on the ground with the white hat on, looked up at me and said "Well Hello Purple Rain!!".

It was so random, it just made me laugh. I said hello back and went on my way.

I love random moments like that. They just make me laugh.

Early Mothers Day

When I picked Kael up from school today he had a Mother's Day present for me.

I wanted to wait until Sunday to open it, but he could not wait. He wanted me to open it as soon as we got home. When I did there was a potted plant that we will have to water to help it grow. A cute picture of my little man and a wonderful card that stated that he loved me to pieces!!!

I loved it. 

What a great mothers day gift!!!

These are the things I look forward to. Cute hand made cards and adorable pictures of my littles!!

chicken nuggets

When we were watching the Amazing race the other night, Kael and Cullan were sitting on the couch watching with us. This particular challenge had to do with sushi. The couples basically had to play sushi bingo. The boys thought that it was pretty interesting, when Kael pipped up with this...

"Mom, I think we should go there (Japan). I bet they have really good chicken nuggets!"

Rarely do we not laugh in a day. 

I love how their little minds work and all of the funny little things that they say!!

fickle folks

the other day, garran and i met and had lunch with three of our four kids. 

During our lunch, the kids were all very well behaved. We were even receiving smiles from other tables and one lady even leaned over to me and said, "you have adorable children!". I thanked her and was feeling pretty good about how the day was going. After lunch we got up and walked around the store for a minute because I needed to pick a few things up before I headed home. 

Somehow between finishing our lunch and picking up our items and heading to the register, we went from three happy, well behaved kids....

to this.

Now granted. Only one was throwing a fit. But it was a good one. I was laughing to myself at the irony of the situation. Not even 15 minutes before, the people in the restaurant side of the store were about to hand us PARENT OF THE YEAR awards and Cutest Baby Ever! 

Now we are getting the very opposite. 

The dirty and disgusted looks of, "can't you get your kid under control?" or "what kind of parent are you?". so this has led me to a new conclusion.

I might add, that I had a good laugh all the way to my van once I came to this realization....

You are only one tantrum away from falling from Grace as a Successful Parent!!

shorty.

this little cutie is 18 months old.

we went to the doctor today and these are her stats.

weight: 26 lbs

height: 31 inches long

she is in the 90th % for weight but only because she is in the 30th % for her height. 

I guess she is going to be a shorty little thing. 

it's ok. short or tall, she is super cute!!

cowboy.

Briea came up to me with these on and said, "Mom, I am not a person, I a cowboy!!"

apples.

This is how Briea eats her apples. 

growing up.

This is my niece Tessa. 

When I met her for the first time, she was little. I think she was 8 or 9 years old. 

This is her and her boyfriend heading to prom. 

She is a wonderful young lady. 

Very sweet and smart. 

I can not believe how time flies!!

Girls Weekend!

My friend Stacy and I had been talking about a girls weekend for a while. We had made plans a couple times only to have them fall through for a variety of different reasons. Well we talked on Wednesday of last week and decided lets just do it. So we met in Davenport on Friday and had a fun girls weekend. We met at a hotel Friday night, put our stuff up, and then headed to this murder mystery dinner. It was a lot of fun.

There were 18 tables of 8 people. 

There were different acts in between the meals. The characters moved around the room rather than on the stage. You had to listen to the clues, and their different stories and try and figure out who did it. 

The man murdered was named Edwin and was the father. 

 The lady in red was one of his daughters. She was a flirt. 

 The man in the vest was his life long butler. 

 This was his son. Not a very business savvy guy that had a gambling problem. 

 This was the man's son in law. He owned a furniture store and was the sofa king of the Midwest.

 Edwin's personal nurse....yeah 

 the butler again....observing what everyone was up to.

 The "sofa king". He was my favorite. He was hilarious. 

and last but not least, Stacy and the other daughter. She liked the track, smoking her stogie (that stacy borrowed for the picture) and drinking. She was also very nice.

here are my notes. not many people might know this, but i grew up watching unsolved mysteries and that show were the show the kid napped kids all the time. I tease my mom that that is why I am so paranoid as an adult!!
Anyways, here are my notes!! I think in some previous life I must have been a detective! :0)

Stacy and I both got the killers correct, but at the end they read some of the funnier answers. I did not try to make my funny, but Stacy is a natural at that. They saved hers for the very last. She was a little embarrassed at first. But everyone was laughing. It was really funny. 

After the dinner, Stacy wanted to go to a place called Huckleberry's. 

I had never had a canoli before, and she said theirs were wonderful. 

 They were pretty good. 

Stacy admiring her canoli!!

after this we went back to the hotel. 

lets just say it was a long night. it involved a bug in my bed, we named him Pierre. A rude manager. A lot of driving, one nice hotel employee and finally going to bed around 2:00 in the morning.

The next day we were off to see what we could find. Stacy and I both enjoy finding small little locally owned shops and fun things like that. So that is what we did. We headed over to the east village to see what we could find. 

 I loved this little store. It was a cooperative of local artist. They all displayed the things that they made in this store. There were paintings, clothes, bags, jewelry. All sorts of fun things. 

 This shirt was in the store. I loved it. I wish I would have picked on up. 

Since we were in the East Village, a couple different people told us that we had to go to Lagomarcinos while we were there. It is a cute little diner on one side and on the other side they make their own candy. They have been around since the early 1900s I believe. It has been in the family for multiple generations. It was wonderful. I had a chicken salad sandwich and a bowl of soup. 

 We were both stuffed after lunch, so we walked around and did some more shopping. Then we heard that we could not leave with out getting one of their legendary sundaes. So we did. 

Here is Stacy poor hot fudge on hers. 

We had so much fun this weekend. I think we both needed it. It was nice to just have a little down time.  Not to have to rush, worry about potty breaks, diaper changes, snacks, or who was tired, bored, etc. That being said, I missed my kids and hubby so much. I guess that is the irony of being a mom. You think it will be so great to have a break and then when you get one, they are all you can think about. 

All that being said, I am so glad I went. It was so fun and it was good to just chat and laugh with a good friend!!!