anniversary...of sorts.

I am always surprised at how much this day sticks with me and how I always seem to remember it. 

To read the full story, you can click this LINK, and it will take you to the post.

I think that some people might not understand just how serious this night was or how tragic it could have turned out. 

However, I can tell you, that when those firefighters carbon monoxide detectors started going off before they even got to our apartment, it was so scary. 

Our furnace was the problem and given 30 more minutes, we would all have been gone. 

The levels were already deadly when the fire department arrived. 

Luckily we had the sense to turn of the heater when our detector was going off. 

I remember walking in the boys room and seeing them snuggled on the top bunk together, and right above their head was a vent, pumping out carbon monoxide. I could tell by the way that Garran quickly grabbed them off the bed and rushed them out to sit in the van that we both had the same thought. And it was terrifying and heart breaking all at the same time. 

Briea had just turned a year old a few days before and I had just found out I was pregnant with Ayla. It could have wiped out our whole family. Had my good friend Christi not really pushed for me to get a carbon monoxide detector for our apartment. That was the best $20.00 I have ever spent. 

Carbon Monoxide is silent and deadly. It has no taste, no smell and you can not see it. That is what makes it so dangerous.  If you do not have one, PLEASE GET ONE. 

It would be devastating to lose someone you love or your whole family when it could have been prevented with such a simple tool. 

It makes me sick to think of how differently that night could have turned out and I count my blessings all the time that our family was spared. 

A pool of serenity.

I was reading a blog that I love to read today and the lady writing was joking about being a "pool of serenity", with great sarcasm. I realized that I too was having a sarcastic day of being my own cool "pool of serenity".

Sometimes I think my sense of humor is a little odd, however this lady is right up my alley. Sometimes when reading her blog, it is like I am reading my own thoughts.

So here is what would happen if you came to take a dip in my pool today.

1. Our toilet has been broken for three days. I guess I should specify, the upstairs toilet. I was slightly embarrassed as the plumber came downstairs and explained that he pulled out two different pieces of a cell phone and one very large piece of plastic. I don't know for sure but I have a very good guess as to who tried to flush those things. I am convinced my children get their naughtiness from their father! :0)

2. I woke up sick. Blah. I won't go into anymore detail but I woke up sick and have been hating it all day long.

3. My kids have been trapped inside due to cold and rain and they are quit literally going crazy! Which in turn is messing with my pool!

There is a happy ending to my day though.

Garran had a huge critique at school today. He had to meet with a panel of professors, including the head of the print making department. They basically reviewed his work and assessed if he would get to keep his scholarship.

Needless to say, it went awesome! Garran is so talented and just a rock star at what he does. He is so humble but everyone in a while I feel the need to brag about how proud I am of him. He sacrifices a lot for us and when he gets good news it is a happy day for all of us!

(and adds a little bit of serenity back into my pool)

anxious...but not.

warning: after writing this, I realized it is a lot of rambling!

well i am starting to feel anxious....kind of... the only thing that i really feel anxious about is meeting our new baby and the unknown of having a c-section. i do not always like going into situations where i do not know what to expect. so even though my doctor has walked me through it and the surgical nurse gave me some info... i still am concerned. some people have told me the pain is completely manageable while others have said it is horrible. i have had major surgeries before and tolerated them pretty well (at least i think) but never a c-section. 

i have to admit that i am also sad that i will not get to hold my baby right away. with all of the other three, well i guess with the exception of cullan (that is a whole other story) i have been able to just hold my baby as soon as they were born. this baby i will not get to hold for a while. i try not to think about it to much. i know it is silly but the thought keeps popping in my head, what if the baby does not bond with me because i do not get to hold them right away. i know that is silly because i have lots of friends that have had c sections, and their children love them with all their hearts. it is just a silly thought that keeps popping in my head.

on the other end of the spectrum, the hours seem to be dragging by today. i feel like i keep looking at the clock and saying...really only 2..3...4 o clock. i am hoping that tomorrow goes faster than today. i have to be at the hospital early in the morning to do some pre-op blood work and have my last ultrasound. they want to check the size one more time and make sure the baby is still looking good.  then after that i will come home, make the kids lunch, finish cleaning upstairs and putting away laundry! (exciting..i know). then tomorrow, the boys have their last night of karate.  they are sad. garran and i have debated on whether or not to sign them up again for the next session. it starts right away and the boys have asked, but with the holidays coming and things like that, we always have to consider our budget. I am hoping we can figure something out so they can go. They really love it and it has been nice to have some thing for them to do to get some energy out and make some friends since neither one of them are doing preschool this year. 

(plus, i think cullan is not going to last much longer outside. he came inside today and said it was to cold to play outside. it is jacket weather for sure, but I had to laugh. i just thought poor kid...you are in for a rough winter if you think this is to cold to play outside in. ;0)

well i feel like I am rambling now!! I plan to post our traditional day before the baby is born picture tomorrow, even though I am dreading it and hate doing it. The kids always like to look at those sort of pictures so i figure I do it for them! One more day...and then it will be time to go!!

camera fairy

i am starting to wonder if your camera lenses can wear out. I know that i use mine like everyday and twice most days. however, my lens (the one i use the most) has been cleaned and everything and it is just not working like it used to. it does not seem to have the same picture quality. since my hobby comes at a pretty price, i would like my stuff to last. i was just wondering if anyone new the number to the camera fairy, maybe i could start putting stuff under my pillow or however it works and then wake up with a great lens in the morning!!

what is the point

some days, this is how i feel. 

i don't know if any of you other mothers out there feel this way, but i feel like i clean and try and keep things tidy only to do something like go to the bathroom and come out to toys everywhere and popcorn on the floor. (you get the idea)

so some days, like today, i feel frustrated. i just think what is the point. however on days like this, inevitably someone knocks on my door and they get to see the disaster that is my living room.

today i was looking at a blog online and found this saying or poem. the lady had done it in vinyl letters and it was by her front door. it was adorable. i am thinking of doing something with it, i just have not decided what. i am however going to post it here, so i won't forget it. plus it makes me feel better!

~Excuse this Home~

Some homes try to hide the fact 

that children shelter there.

Ours boast of it quite openly, 

the signs are everywhere.

For smears are on the windows, 

little smudges on the door.

I should apologize I guess, 

for the toys strewn on the floor.

But, I sat down with my children, 

we played and laughed and read.

And if my home doesn't shine, 

then their eyes will instead.

For when at times I am forced to choose, 

the one job or the other,
I want to be a homemaker, 

But first I'll be a Mother.

See so if you are like me, don't you feel better after reading that. I don't think it means I don't want a clean house. It just means that sometimes there are more important things in life. Toys and fingerprints can just wait!

baby to be

well i realized that lately i have not posted much about our soon to be newest addition. our little mystery baby is the most active of all my kids. night and day this little one is kicking and moving. in some ways i am happy about that. i would rather it be that way than not moving that often, however at 2:30 in the morning, a little break would be ok. we are still in the process of figuring out names. we have decided that if it is a girl she will have two middle names like B. if its a boy, just one like our other two. names are always hard. what do you want to call your child for the rest of their lives. i have always liked my name, but I know people who have hated theirs and have always wanted to change it.

we are starting to realize that October will be here before we know it. i mean in three weeks i will be starting my third trimester. YIKES! in a way i will be excited to get there and in other ways i want to really enjoy this pregnancy. the kids are definitely excited. cullan always comes up and asks if he can talk to the baby in my tummy. kael asks every single morning if the baby is coming today. briea i don't really think has any clue but will love having a baby in the house. she LOVES babies. i have my next appointment monday. the dreaded glucose test! i guess it is not that bad, i just hate drinking that stuff. i hope everything goes well like with the other three. well off to chase the three i have! my energy is already starting to fade in the afternoons. this should be interesting when garran goes back to school.

crazy days

today feels like this. wild. we are busy cleaning, doing laundry, having a pipe in our wall fixed and my second ultrasound is this afternoon. hopefully they will get everything they need this time. i have to admit, getting ultrasounds here is not my favorite. they do not give you any pictures, and the ladies i had last time were not so friendly. they were all business and kind of cold. the other time i have had ultrasounds have been great, in Iowa. the ladies were always nice and they always handed out a ton of pictures. i miss that. especially since we won't be doing this much longer. oh well. off to finish folding laundry and cleaning the kitchen. i really hope to get all my stuff checked off my list by dinner time!

in my head.

for some reason i can not get this out of my head. so i thought i would share.

loves the pages

so i found this feature on blogger where you can add stand alone pages to your blog. i have been trying it out and love it. mine are on the side of my blog under the picture of garran and i. i have decided to use them to tell about each one of our family members. if you want to find how to do it, go under edit posts. at the top there is a tab that says edit pages. when you click on that, there will be an option to start a new page. you can have up to 10!! just some random knowledge for anyone who is interested.

sometimes its hard to put into words.

but this pretty much does. this is our house today. to humid with very real chance of storms keeping us inside. kids bouncing off the walls. parents not finding much to do. so yup. this pretty much sums it up!

yep....

the world cup is on...and it has pretty much taken over our house!!

ps. for the record, during the US vs. England game, I felt bad for Green. However, stuff happens and I will take the GOAL!!!

polka dots

for some reason polka dots are comforting to me. i never wear them but i love them. so today i decided to go with polka dots on my blog. enjoy!

is this for real?

i am  having one of those days. i don't know if it is just from being exhausted or what, but things just seem surreal today. i look around my house at all these boxes and think, really? are we really moving far away in just 10 days. i guess it is not super far away, but it is three hours from everything we know right now. all our friends, all our kids friends, cullan's school-that he loves. i usually get excited about moves and changes. those sort of things keep life interesting  i think. however i have to admit that now, having kids, and having friends who you have known since we were all single, and they have kids. there is this desire to plant some roots and let your kids grow up with these kids. i am sure we will love living in our new home, but today i am feeling sad about leaving our home now.

washer and dryer?

i will be in the market in a few months for a new washer and dryer. i am wondering what everyone likes and doesn't. if you have had good experiences with any particular brand or any bad experiences. i want to know it all. please leave me a comment and let me know!!

borrowing!

my friend had this on her blog. she got it in an email. it immediately made me think of B. she got a tutu for her birthday. i am pretty sure that even if she doesn't think she is a princess yet, there is a 6'3 guy in our house that sure thinks she is.

sad

I'm sure that the title might be a little confusing. this should just be a sweet picture of my son. however for me it is almost hard to look at. for the last few days Cullan has been wearing this hat around the house and even out sometimes. it did not even dawn on me why he has been doing it. he thinks its cool because his friend Oliver does it. it makes me sad that Oliver has to wear one. it makes me sad that Cullan has no real understanding of what is happening. he just thinks that Oliver is great. I am so happy that they have the chance to be friends and spend time together. I am grateful that we have gotten to be friends with their family for almost 10 years. We will miss seeing them when we move and will cherish all the laughs and memories we have made.

dreaming

tonight as i was working on transferring pictures, i came across this one from last summer and actually started to feel sad. will it ever be warm enough to do this again? it is starting to feel like only a dream. we are supposed to get six more inches tonight. i am really starting to hate snow.

catching up

i have not been blogging as much as i usually do for a couple different reasons. i have been more busy than usually and so my blog has been one of the areas i have cut out some of my time. not only have i been busy but crazy things have happened this week. i will give you a run down.

• Monday-visiting in laws and catching up on massive amounts of laundry, committee meeting for ollies allstars fundraising stuff.
  
• Tuesday-put away massive amounts of laundry, ran errands, checked and answered emails
  
• Wednesday-drove to Ames to trade in our van for something different. ;0) visited with family, drove home to find out that the local police had to brake into our place while we were gone due to a faulty carbon monoxide detector.. yeah for coming in through our bedroom and leaving snow foot prints on the bed. although i am not complaining to much because I am thankful for police and all they do.
• Thursday-preschool, more errands, did some service for a friend, picked a friend up and went shopping together till she could meet up with her hubby!
  
• Friday-cleaned our poor neglected house, went on a date with my great husband, visited with a friend till about 11:00, came home and crashed.
• Saturday-committee meeting in the morning, target, garrans car to get new tires, did i mention i am still putting away laundry...;0)
• Sunday-slept in a little, started getting ready for church but had to stop due to our sink in the kitchen spewing water. it just kept coming and coming. garran and i were running with buckets from the kitchen sink to the bathtub dumping water...(this part is going to continue into this coming week) then off to church, stopped by a friends house to pick up dinner for another friend, then hanging out with friends, laughing and just relaxing.
  

it was the perfect way to end a crazy week. i am hoping this next week does not involve the police or anymore sinks spewing water!!
wish me luck.

the great debate.

my sweet cullan boy used to have a head full of curls. this picture does not even do it justice. anyways, i am thinking of letting his hair grow out a little bit. i have to admit, i am just a little curious about if there are any curls left.now he looks like this. very cute. i just wonder. so now it is up for debate.
do we grow it out or leave it?
what do you think?

a nice reminder~

when i woke up this morning garran told me that he wanted to read me something out of the ENSIGN. he said that he had been reading it and it made him think of me. here is what he pointed out.

"The best marriage advice I ever received was from my dad, Richard Hopkins, who told me that an accomplishment for one person in a marriage is a victory for both. My husband, Mark, and I have made this one of those rules we live by. For example, if one spouse graduates from college, it brings honor to the family and should be celebrated as a joint accomplishment. (after all, for one spouse to graduate, the other had to support the effort by sacrificing time and perhaps contributing financially or helping more than usual with childcare.) And now the whole family is better off because of it. The same concept applies to other accomplishments - serving well at church, doing well at music or sports or other talents, getting a promotion at work, and so forth. This advice has worked so well in our 25 years of marriage that we decided to apply it to our six children as well. The accomplishment of any child is a victory of the whole family. Other children should not feel pressured to accomplish something similar, nor should they resent the success of their sibling; instead, we celebrate what one has done to bring honor to everyone!"

what a great way to look at it. this was a great way to start my morning!!