Walmart.... Of Course it would happen again.

You know, I was just thinking to myself the other day that I had not had any funny or odd experiences at Walmart lately. I was thinking that maybe the universe was leveling out or something. 

Anyways, I was shopping at walmart, with Ayla who was in a funk. I was not feeling that hot and my contacts were driving me crazy. While trying to keep Ayla in the cart, I blink and my contact goes flying out of my eye. To where it went, I do not know. 

So now I am trying to shop, sick, with a whiney child and one good eye. 

Let's just say this trip is not going well. 

So I get through my list while doing my awkward squint with my one good eye. I finally make it to the one of 5 checkouts that was open. Wouldn't you know there were lines like it was black Friday, and I pick the one line with the most annoying lady ever. EVER!!

So she and her son who was 4 (I know this because he told me) had two carts full of groceries. While I watch her put stuff on the belt and then take it off, put it on and take it off, her son was chatting me up.

(just so you know, i was not rude to the kid, but there are times when you just don't feel like chatting. This was one of those times.)

So here is just some of what I was asked.

Are you a mom?

Can she have candy? (referring to Ayla)

Does she have brothers and sisters?

Where is her dad?

What is his name?

Does she go to daycare?

Why doesn't she go to daycare?

I don't go to daycare anymore.

I had a nice teacher.

I don't have a teacher anymore.

Are you buying groceries?

Are you going to buy candy?

What are you doing for Valentines Day?

So it went on and on. While his mother was also full of questions. 

And by that I mean, with every item she placed on the belt, she asked the cashier if she should buy it. If she had tried it, if she should buy her son one lunch-able or three?? If the spicey chicken caused heartburn, because she does not like having heartburn. 

Oh my goodness, I about came unglued!! I waited behind this women for 25 minutes. By the time she was done she only bought one cart worth of groceries and left the other cart full of things she could not decide if she wanted or that the cashier had not approved!

Have I mentioned.....

I HATE WALMART!!

traffic.light.love

today on my way home from Walmart, I saw what I can only call, traffic light love. 

did i see a couple sweetly kissing at a stop light?

no.

did she have her head resting on his shoulder as he drove?

no.

what i did see was a woman sitting in the passenger seat digging up her boyfriends nose with her finger as he sat in the drivers seat just taking it. I mean she was really working hard. I could hardly stand it. I didn't know where else to look. It was one of those situations where you want to look away but there is really no great place to look since you are in traffic and they are right in front of you. 

Finally after man handling his head to bend it to the perfect angle to insert her finger in his nose. she stopped!!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

I did not know how much more I could stand.

Then to my horror she grabs his head again and starts digging in his ear.
I was thinking......

seriously.....

how can she do this?

how long is this light?

good gravy!!

finally the green light came to this mans rescue and she released her death grip from his head and removed her finger from his ear, grossly flicking something from it. i felt a little queasy and decided to pass them as soon as possible. 

i tell ya, i don't know what i would do if Wal mart or the ten mile radius around it did not exist . my life would never be the same.
ps. i have started a new label for all my wonderful wal-mart experiences. all you have to do is click where it says wal-mart drama at the bottom. sit back and prepare for the drama that is walmart!

once again....

(this mocking face and statement above is exactly how I feel )

once again, here is another reason i should not shop at walmart.

as do most of my recent experiences i was shopping and pushing my cart. 

i was moving quickly due to the fact that i was by myself and did not have much to get. 

i was rounding the corner by the tank where people fill up their water jugs. 

there was a Hispanic family filling theres and other shoppers scattered around. 

as i round the corner, i am suddenly enjoying a new vantage point. that is right, the ceiling.

i all of a sudden find myself flat on my back and in what some might say was a good amount of pain. 

i lay there for a minute, almost in shock. when all of a sudden a women's face is hovering above mine.

she looks at me curiously and says "honey, did you fall?".

I thought to myself for a minute and thought, nope I thought i would just lay here and enjoy this puddle of water!

i was a little frustrated at how many on lookers there were and the lack of help that i received to get up. so i just crawled over to the chip rack and used it for support to get up. my leg was banged up, and so it hurt like crazy when i put pressure on it.  when i finally got to my feet, i felt as thought i should turn around and take my traditional bow, as i usually do after my walmart adventures. but, i didn't. i just pushed the cart off, mumbling under my breath about how much my leg hurt. i am sure the people closest to me probably thought i had hit my head and really lost it. the good news at the end of this story is that i did not forget to get milk. the one thing i went there for. Yippee!

"Sorry Mommy"

Haven't we all been here?

Shopping with one or multiple kids. 

I usually, almost always have at least one if not two in the cart and two wandering around with me.

Well today I only had three. Cullan was at school. Easier right??

WRONG!

We had almost finished our shopping and we are waiting for our van to get finished because we were having the oil changed. I remember that there is one more thing that I wanted to look at and it was over by the automotive section anyways. So we are heading over that way. In order to get there we have to pass through the crowded school supply area. Ayla is in to the top seat of the cart, Briea is in the bigger section  and Kael is walking. I tell him to stick right by me and we start heading that way. I have to admit that I was moving at a pretty good pace. I am not always a crowd person and I did not want to get stuck in this mess of people slowly checking out all the school stuff. So we make it about half way through the school section when all of a sudden I feel as if I have become one of those cartoon characters that can't seem to control their feet. I was all over the place. (Let me remind you I was moving at a good pace to get through the school section.) So all of a sudden, my feet have a mind of their own. I can feel eyes slowly turning and staring at me. I am clinging to the cart for dear life and occasionally grasping out for a shelf or something. It is like I have hit some kind of oil slick and I know it is only a matter of time before I am down for the count. Of course as all of this is happening, it feels as though I am moving in slow motion, and the one thing that I do remember clearly is that Briea's eyes were about silver dollar size as she watched me twist and flail, grasping on to the cart as I kept moving forward. My excitement started by pens and pencils and ended by notebooks. I felt as though I should almost turn around and take a bow due to the crowd that I had drawn with my wild movements. Instead, I make sure I have good footing and continue around the corner only to look down at Briea holding a bottle of lotion. She looks up at me and says "Sar-wee Mommy". She had sat in the buggy and started pumping lotion on to the floor. As I was walking, I had hit her lovely path and performed a number for the people in Walmart that they will not soon forget.

(Imagine me bowing at this point)

I have survived yet another embarrassing moment!!

head held high!

most of the time this is kind of how i feel when i go grocery shopping. just replace the dog with three other kids. i often feel a little overwhelmed and like things are just hanging on by a thread. most of the time i have forgotten what in the world i was there for.

i almost always leave the store with some sort of thought like, "man, i will not be winning mom of the year award any time soon" because of something my kids have said or done.

today was different.

today i went by myself.

that is not even the best part.

i went to the store, got all my items and was headed to the register. as i was making my way up front, i heard some crying. by the time i got to the register, it was more like screaming. i happened to glance to the self check out registers behind me to see what looked to be a 7 or 8 year old boy throwing what i could only say was a MAJOR tantrum.

(now before i go any further, i want to say i felt for this mom, but i have got to take what I can get)

lets proceed.

as i was checking out, it was just getting worse.

as i finished checking out and was walking out, i just happened to witness the major event!

as i was glancing over thinking to myself that poor mom, i see her son take the lid of his just purchased orange soda and chuck it high in the air and over about 3 registers. yep. the kid had an arm. he might even have a career in football if he made it to the car. i could see the horrified looks on peoples faces as the soda bottle spun, spewing soda wildly above their heads.

i did not stay to see what happened next. i just proudly walked out of walmart, with my head held high!

yep, at that moment i thought, mom of the year right here!